How Can New Moms Help New Dads Adjust to Her Changing Sexuality?

Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...
Image via Wikipedia

Nekole Malia Shapiro is the founder of http://www.TantricBirth.com. In a recent Facebook exchange she asked me:

I pose the same question to you that I asked Dr. Northrup in the Ecstatic Birth Tele-Summit session last night. Having an ecstatic birth can explode a woman’s experience of her sexuality. This can sometimes make our partners uncomfortable and confused.

How do we best support our lovers in navigating our new sexual empowerment?

 

I replied:

Touch them with as much love and tenderness as you touch your newborn baby.

Invite them and include them in the magic circle you’re feeling with your child.

Don’t cast them out into the world to be the warrior/provider without also providing a sanctuary for them at the center of the family.

Re-introduce them to your new post-birth body; show them what’s changed and what hasn’t.

Welcome them home.

 

Nekole responded:

Lovely! Thank you. And if they pull away? Give them their space?

 

I replied:

When you give a man space for more than a day or two, you are enabling avoidance.

Some men need downtime to shift gears and recenter, and it’s best to encourage them to take time for that.

But in my experience, if he takes more than a day or two, he’s not trying… he’s drifted off into distraction. Call him home.

Enhanced by Zemanta