7 Steps to Whole Body Orgasms

1. Open ALL your pleasure circuits.

Yes, the cock has 4,000-24,000 nerve endings (depending on size and circumcision). We like that.

But the entire body has over 3 MILLION nerve endings spread over 20 square feet of skin. You have 10,000 taste buds and 40 million olfactory receptor cells. That’s not even counting muscles, eyes and ears!

Face it, you’ve been listening to the music of sex on blown-out, tinny junk speakers, when you could be enjoying a surround-sound 6-channel home-theater-quality experience. Why settle?

2. Relax!

If you’re tensing up during sex and speeding to get to the finish line, your pleasure senses are shutting down. Seriously. This is incredibly counterproductive.

Rapid breathing and tense muscles signal danger and trip the nervous system’s fight-or-flight response. The body races to ejaculate so you’re ready to fend off an attack.

Your system is flooded with survival hormones designed to make you paranoid and aggressive.

(Imagine what that does to the emotional connection with your partner!)

3. Slow down your breathing.

This reverses the fight-or-flight signals to your sympathetic nervous system. Ahhhh! In a few minutes, your partner will start feeling less like an enemy – and more like a lover.

Slow breathing will allow you both to sync up and move into shared experience.

The breath is the largest and most controllable pulse in your body. Steady breathing brings all the other pulses (from heartbeat to biochemical arousal to quivering desire) into rhythmic coherence. It’s like the steady drummer who lays down a groove that all the other instruments then dance around.

When you breathe in rhythm with your partner, you’ll automatically fall into love. Instead of a rush of those paranoid-aggression hormones, your bloodstreams will be swimming with oxytocin and the other biochemicals of bliss.

4. Turn off the mental porn channel.

If you’re narrating a porn scene in your head, you’re distracting attention from the ACTUAL sensations in your turned-on body.

Not to mention the ACTUAL human being you’ve gone to all the trouble to get into your bed.

Why bother having sex if you’re only going to rerun the same tired fantasies in your own private mental theater? (See Step #1: second-rate speakers.)

Unplug your chattering monkey mind. Open your eyes and enjoy what’s in front of you.

The more sensation you can feel in your body, the less those second-hand thoughts will even register.

Yes, it’s possible for real sex to feel better than porn. But you’ve got to get out of your head and into your body for that to happen.

5. Pay attention to your senses. All of your senses.

A relaxed body, breathing slowly and deeply, will tingle with limitless sensations. The slightest movement will roll through solid flesh like waves. You’ll remember why sex can be better than drugs.

The more you focus on your body, the more fresh and unexpected your experience becomes.

It’s true that men are wired to seek variety. The mind says we need a fresh partner… but when you turn up your senses, you’ll notice all kinds of things you were oblivious to before. What’s been stale is not necessarily your partner. It’s your own dull habits of perception.

Feel your fingers, toes, individual hairs, sounds, smells, colors… first your own, then your partner’s.

Welcome to the world, my friend! It’s a lot bigger than your head.

6. Forget about your cock for awhile.

Cock-focused stimulation can get you off too fast. Or keep you from noticing her.

Instead of peaking early, and trying hard to get back in the game, let your body take you up a series of steps. Each step becomes a new plateau, better than the last, more open, intense and ecstatic.

At each step, open up another sense. Spread the wealth around. Sight, sound, touch, taste, smell. Amplify your attention to that new sense.

At each step, spread your attention away from your cock and toward your extremities. Shoulders, hands, fingers, knees, feet, toes, face, ears, hair…

If you slow down instead of speeding up when you get close, you’ll remain on the delicious edge of cumming. You’ll be matching your partner instead of beating her to the finish line.

You can play on these plateaus for as long as you wish, until you both decide to roll on into orgasm.

7. Let sex be a truly shared experience.

Instead of being trapped in your own head, or focused on getting her off, imagine your whole body (head to toe) dancing and moving with her whole body.

Breathe deeply and slowly to relax those bodies, and open up new areas to pleasure.

Include the genitals and usual erogenous zones, but don’t linger there. Spread your attention everywhere.

Talk about what you’re experiencing and exploring. Appreciate her body and her touch.

Slow down, drop out of your head and into your senses.

Take each other to new plateaus. Keep pace with each other.

The more you both sync up, the closer you’ll feel. The more your bodies will pulse together, and feed each other’s pleasure.

When you finally cum, your whole body will tremble.

That will open up and activate even MORE pleasure circuits… and in no time at all, you’ll be rolling through whole-body orgasms.

Deeper Than Pleasure

What’s the quickest route to the Deep Masculine? Shift attention from your cock to your balls. The cock, after all, is just a delivery system for the real goods.

Women, similar progression to the Deep Feminine:  Shift your focus from pussy to womb. That’s where the real sex magic happens.

Pleasure is great, but creating LIFE? Now THAT’S real power!

In a recent tele-class, I was talking about harnessing your sexual power to create success in business. Specifically, we were discussing how the feminine magnetic attracts (attention, clients, money, etc.).

A woman of a certain age shared that she no longer attracts the attention she once did. Her value wasn’t being seen.

I said that superficial attraction is an earlier stage of sexual power. Young women fuss about skin-deep beauty, make-up, clothes, male attention. Men on the make want a hard body as vascular as a cock in full erection.

All well and good.

But that can’t hold a candle to the Power of the Womb.

Or the Power of the Balls.

In business, as in life, we mature. We step up. We stop focusing on the externals, and get in touch with our own deep power.

The Power to Create. To Generate. To Deliver Results.

Yes, that can mean babies. But the Deep Masculine also creates family, home, money, values, community.

Your cock is seeking pleasure. It wants to reach out and grab that pleasure from the world.

Your balls want to put that pleasure to USE, to create something of value. They want to GIVE to the world, not take away from it.

In our image-driven, pornographic, birth-controlled world, we sometimes forget that primal truth.

Sexual power is not just about attraction.

It’s about creating life.

Making love, not taking love.

It’s about depth.

Are you ready to take your next step into the Deep Masculine?

Sex Creates Realities

from Comradex

Make no mistake about it: sex is power.

Kingdoms rise and fall for sex. Societies legislate marriage to control sex. Churches advocate celibacy, on pain of hell. They want to keep the genie in the bottle.

The raw experiential nature of sex gives it mindblowing potency. Something that powerful, happening in the body, sweeping us along emotionally, overriding the senses, seems more real than anything we’ve been told to believe.

Sex creates its own reality.

If you are using the power of sex for egoic purposes, no matter how refined and pure your ego, sex will reinforce the consciousness you’re coming from. Every act of sex will drive you deeper into separation. Partner, solo, ritual, group, loving, healing, using: doesn’t matter what kind of sex. If you start from ego, you will end at ego.

If you start with God, you’ll end with God.

Making love in the Unified Field entrains us with the love that is creating everything. We become part of that creation process. Life is creating through us, as us. Everyone, male and female, young and old, experiences the ongoing miracle of conceiving, gestating, and birthing new realities.

When every cell in your body is orgasming, conceiving and birthing life itself, you’ll know what ecstasy can be. The spasms of our genitals are only the beginning…

Take the time to go inside, to find the pulse in your own body first, and to remember wholeness. This makes all the difference in the world. Then the powerful energies of sex are put in service to reinforcing oneness. The biochemicals of bliss are released into our nervous systems with the steady drip drip drip of an IV.

Otherwise, those potent sexual energies will be hijacked to reinforce our egos, to flood our neurology with the biochemical relief of an addictive substance, and to leave us stranded when the high is over.

Your choice. Which reality do you wish to activate? Which dream do you want to feed with your lovemaking?

Temporary union, or endless pulsation? Separation, or Oneness?

Sex will reinforce your choice, burn it into your memory, transform your neurology, and make it real.

Just as sex reinforces the dramas of our ego-life, and makes them unbearably real, so will sex reinforce the bliss of Oneness, and bring it into form.

We are Gods bringing eternity into time. We are incarnating with our memories intact. We are making life conscious of itself.

We are waking up Creation, and sex in the Unified Field is our tool.

Enhanced by Zemanta

How Can New Moms Help New Dads Adjust to Her Changing Sexuality?

Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...
Image via Wikipedia

Nekole Malia Shapiro is the founder of http://www.TantricBirth.com. In a recent Facebook exchange she asked me:

I pose the same question to you that I asked Dr. Northrup in the Ecstatic Birth Tele-Summit session last night. Having an ecstatic birth can explode a woman’s experience of her sexuality. This can sometimes make our partners uncomfortable and confused.

How do we best support our lovers in navigating our new sexual empowerment?


I replied:

Touch them with as much love and tenderness as you touch your newborn baby.

Invite them and include them in the magic circle you’re feeling with your child.

Don’t cast them out into the world to be the warrior/provider without also providing a sanctuary for them at the center of the family.

Re-introduce them to your new post-birth body; show them what’s changed and what hasn’t.

Welcome them home.


Nekole responded:

Lovely! Thank you. And if they pull away? Give them their space?


I replied:

When you give a man space for more than a day or two, you are enabling avoidance.

Some men need downtime to shift gears and recenter, and it’s best to encourage them to take time for that.

But in my experience, if he takes more than a day or two, he’s not trying… he’s drifted off into distraction. Call him home.

Enhanced by Zemanta

If All Your Sexual Attention is on Your Cock, You’re Missing the Ride of Your Life

Imagine you’re eating a sumptuous gourmet feast. All your favorite foods, and some astonishing new flavors.

Now imagine that you’re only using 5% of your taste buds. The other 95% are desperately sending messages to your brain, but there’s a short-circuit somewhere, and you don’t notice. The phone is ringing, but you won’t take the call.

Why would you limit your pleasure in that way?

‘Fess up. How often, during sex, do you focus most of your attention on your cock?

How about when you’re masturbating? That’s even worse! Most guys zoom in on the head, some include the shaft, and a few adventurous souls venture to the balls or even – gasp! – the ass.

Why? Because the other 95% of their attention is in the mind, running fantasies and watching the internal movie screen and talking to themselves. Unless they’re watching an EXTERNAL movie screen and letting porn do all the heavy lifting…

The rest of the body goes untouched… unloved… unnoticed…

Let’s talk square footage. How many square inches of skin on your cock? How many nerve endings?

How many square inches of skin on your body? How many nerve endings spread across that real estate?

Not to mention what opens up if you drill down into the subterranean levels, to the lush jungles and vast sensations INSIDE the body.

Or if you track the rush of feelings and the subtle flavors of emotion that arise in sex…

So tell me again why so many men focus most of their sexual attention on their cocks?

Sure, it gets the job done. It’s an efficient use of time.

But then again, so is fast food. Grab a sandwich, shove it down, move on.

The world is a feast, my friend. Is that all you want?

Is Your Sexuality Out of Control, Like a Runaway Fire Hose?

The sexual current in most men is a powerful force. If we’re not plugged into our bodies in a solid way, the force of that current whips around and sprays into the world like a runaway fire hose.

Sex offers temporary release because we’re plugging our life force into another person’s body. The current can flow freely then.

But when we’re not actually engaged in sex, we’re leaking… spraying… pummeling the people around us. It sneaks out sideways. Jumps up at the worst moments. Turns into rage and frustration.

What can we do about our own runaway fire hose?

I believe we’ve missed the primary connection: we haven’t plugged that huge rush of desire – that sexual current – into OUR OWN BODIES. We’re disconnected from our genuine sexuality… because in this culture, that’s what we’re taught.

In childhood, our sexuality is ignored, denied, shamed, punished, or overintellectualized. In adolescence, we’re left to discover sex from the most suspect of sources: fumbling peers, bragging liars and pornographers.

When the hormones kick in and the firehose starts spraying, we have no clue how to integrate what’s happening.

So we jack off, fuck around, hurt people, feel bad, and lie about it.

In my experience, when I finally learned to plug my sexual energy into my own body (instead of my ego or my brain), that’s when sex started making sense.

But most men run the sexual charade from their heads. They have visual images and stories about HOW sex should be – and then they perform those fantasies.

What would happen if you plugged into your own body, your pelvis, your root? What if you were accessing a deeper body wisdom here? What if you felt attuned and integrated to your own unique sexual expression – instead of following someone else’s script?

The Deep Masculine is all about exploring those questions… finding your own answers… and plugging that amazingly powerful life force into YOUR own body.

No more runaway fire hoses. No more frustratingly short-lived relief.

Just a strong, solid flow of life force energy at your command. Under your direction.

What will you do with it?

That’s up to you.